What if?…

I nearly drowned in my grandparents swimming pool when I was three years old. I remember the light filtering through the water, a feeling of peace, and then having a rough brown towel wrapped around me and the anxious faces of extended family. Around the time I  lost consciousness, my grandfather jumped in the pool to rescue me. My mother quickly revived me. No visions of the hereafter, just a crisis averted.

“I didn’t go to heaven.” A niggling doubt was born. What if I died and there was no heaven? What if…

As a child, I discovered the chronicles of Narnia. One of my favorites was the Silver Chair. I loved when Puddleglum the Marchwiggle defied the lies of the evil queen with these words: “.Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one…. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that’s a small loss if the world’s as dull a place as you say.”

Even if…

As an adult, I have tried to live the “Even If” life. As a parent, my greatest fear has always been, “What if SOMETHING happens, and I can’t finish raising the kids”. That niggling doubt, and fear remained.

This year I have had the opportunity to see dearly loved family struggle with a cancer diagnoses. Their kids are still young. I have been introduced to a world where sometimes people die before we think they should. I read a blog post yesterday written by a young mother who will soon be entering hospice. It was full of faith and confidence, that He who began a good work in her children would complete it, even after she was gone. And I wonder, what if?…

What if He really has gone to prepare a place for us and WILL come back again?

What if, there is a house with many rooms in some heavenly Mount Solon, where I will spend eternity?

What if there really is a treasure somewhere were mold and rust and moths don’t destroy things? What if all my petty cares are not all that important? What if there really is a pearl of great price, and nothing else matters?

How would I live my life? With what intensity would I love people? Instead of having things like skydiving on my bucket list, it would include extravagant acts of loving kindness, while I still have the chance.  I’d get to know people at church a little better, love my neighbors a little more, and take greater risks in relationships. I’d be willing to look foolish or be judged in order to get to know someone. What if…

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